Table of Contents
Nursing School Personal Statements
On this page, you'll find seven examples of effective nursing school personal statements, each followed by reasons why they work. They're written from the point of view of career changers, CNAs becoming RNs, veterans, people focused on mental health or pediatrics, and more. Hopefully you'll find some inspiration here for your own statement!
P.S. Writing a compelling personal statement may be the most challenging, yet most effective, way to help yourself get into a good nursing school program. Good news! Lauren Hammond is our nursing school application essay expert and has been helping people write their nursing school personal statements for several years. Whether you just want some feedback on a draft, or you're staring at a blank Word doc and don't know where to begin, she is happy to help!
Contact Lauren directly at 951-395-4646 (phone or text), or send us an email.
3 TIPS FOR COMPELLING NURSING SCHOOL PERSONAL STATEMENTS
1. Share Your Passion for Nursing with a Personal Story
- Describe a pivotal experience: Share a meaningful moment that inspired you to pursue nursing, such as caring for a loved one, witnessing exceptional patient care, or overcoming a personal health challenge.
- Highlight nursing’s impact: Explain how nurses play a vital role in patient advocacy, holistic care, and improving health outcomes, and why this resonates with you.
- Show your dedication to compassionate care: Connect your passion for nursing to your long-term commitment to serving patients and making a difference in their lives.
Example:
"When my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I watched as her nurses became her lifeline. They provided not only medical care but also dignity, comfort, and reassurance during her most vulnerable moments. One nurse in particular, Maria, took the time to hold her hand, explain procedures with patience, and support our family through difficult decisions. Seeing the impact of her kindness and expertise inspired me to become a nurse—someone who doesn’t just treat conditions, but cares for the whole person."
2. Highlight Relevant Experiences and Skills
- Discuss academic and hands-on preparation: Share your background in health sciences, biology, or psychology, along with experiences in patient care, volunteering, or healthcare settings.
- Showcase essential nursing skills: Highlight communication, problem-solving, teamwork, and resilience with concrete examples.
- Connect your experiences to nursing’s broad scope: Reflect on how your past work has prepared you for the challenges of direct patient care, public health, or specialized nursing fields.
Example:
"Working as a certified nursing assistant (CNA) in a rehabilitation center, I learned how small actions—adjusting a patient’s pillow, listening to their concerns, or simply offering a smile—could make a difference in their recovery. One patient, Mr. Thompson, struggled with mobility after a stroke. With daily encouragement and assistance, I watched his confidence grow as he regained strength. That experience taught me the importance of patient-centered care, reinforcing my desire to become a nurse who supports both physical and emotional healing."
3. Align Your Goals with the Program’s Strengths
- Research the nursing program: Mention specific aspects such as clinical training opportunities, simulation labs, faculty expertise, or areas of specialization like critical care, pediatrics, or public health.
- Connect your goals to the program’s offerings: Explain how the curriculum, mentorship, or community engagement opportunities will help you become the nurse you aspire to be.
- Articulate your long-term vision: Share your career goals and how a nursing degree will equip you to provide excellent patient care and contribute to the field.
Example:
"I am particularly drawn to [Nursing School Name] because of its emphasis on hands-on clinical experience and its strong partnerships with local hospitals. The opportunity to train in high-acuity settings will prepare me for my goal of becoming an emergency room nurse. Additionally, the program’s focus on holistic care aligns with my belief that nursing is not just about treating symptoms, but about understanding the patient as a whole. I am eager to gain the knowledge and skills needed to provide compassionate, evidence-based care to those in need."
TIP: By focusing on your passion for nursing, showcasing relevant skills and experiences, and aligning your goals with the program’s strengths, you’ll craft a compelling personal statement that demonstrates your readiness for nursing school.
7 NURSING SCHOOL PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLES
Below are 7 examples of compelling nursing personal statements, followed by analyses of why we liked them.
The sound of the heart monitor beeped steadily as I sat beside my mother’s hospital bed, holding her hand. Just hours earlier, she had undergone a complex surgery, and while the doctors had performed the procedure, it was the nurses who stayed by her side, monitoring her pain, adjusting her IV, and reassuring both of us with their presence. I remember one nurse, Emily, who spoke to my mother in a calming voice, explaining every step of her care while gently adjusting her pillows. She wasn’t just treating a patient—she was caring for a person. That moment changed everything for me.
At the time, I was on a different career path, studying psychology and working part-time in customer service. But something about that experience in the hospital lingered. I found myself drawn to the way nurses combined science with empathy, how they acted as both healers and advocates. I started volunteering at a community clinic, where I assisted in patient intake and observed nurses treating individuals from all walks of life—many of whom had no other access to healthcare. It was there, listening to patients express both their fears and gratitude, that I realized my calling was in nursing.
Determined to gain more hands-on experience, I became a certified nursing assistant (CNA) and worked in a long-term care facility. My first week on the job, I met a resident named Mrs. Carter, a retired teacher who struggled with dementia. She rarely spoke and often refused care, but I noticed how her eyes lit up when we played old jazz records. Slowly, through patience and consistency, I built trust with her. She began responding to my voice, allowing me to help her with daily tasks, and even sharing memories from her past. This experience reinforced what I had witnessed in the hospital years before—that nursing is about far more than medical procedures. It is about connection, dignity, and treating each patient as a whole person.
What excites me most about [Nursing School Name] is its emphasis on both clinical excellence and compassionate care. The opportunity to gain hands-on experience in diverse healthcare settings will prepare me to work in high-pressure environments, while the school’s commitment to holistic nursing aligns with my belief that healing is not just physical but emotional and psychological as well. My long-term goal is to become a registered nurse specializing in critical care, where I can provide life-saving treatment while offering patients and families the reassurance I once received.
Nursing is more than a career to me—it is a vocation, a calling to serve, and a way to give back in the most human way possible. From the nurses who cared for my mother to the patients who have taught me the value of trust and compassion, every experience has solidified my certainty that I am meant to be a nurse. I am eager to take the next step in my journey at [Nursing School Name], where I can develop the skills, knowledge, and heart needed to make a lasting impact in the field of nursing.
Why This Personal Statement Is Effective
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Engaging Narrative Hook
- The opening scene places the reader directly in an emotional moment, making the statement immediately compelling.
- It connects the applicant’s personal experience with their initial interest in nursing.
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Clear Personal and Professional Growth
- The statement moves from an early inspiration to hands-on experience, demonstrating a clear path toward nursing.
- Each step—volunteering, working as a CNA, and patient interactions—shows increasing commitment and preparation.
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Diverse and Relevant Experiences
- The applicant highlights patient interaction, healthcare exposure, and the emotional intelligence needed in nursing.
- Specific examples (e.g., Mrs. Carter and the jazz records) add depth and make the statement memorable.
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Connection to the Nursing Program
- The applicant doesn’t just praise the program but ties it to their own goals and values.
- Mentioning “clinical excellence and compassionate care” shows they have researched the school’s philosophy.
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Strong Conclusion
- The final paragraph circles back to the initial inspiration while reinforcing the applicant’s passion and readiness for nursing school.
- The phrase “a vocation, a calling to serve” reinforces nursing as a personal mission, leaving a lasting impression.
This statement effectively combines storytelling, qualifications, and personal motivation, making it both compelling and persuasive for a nursing school application.
2) Career changer (from restaurant management)
I used to think I was pretty good in a crisis. When you run a restaurant, your whole day is small crises: a line cook calls out, the walk-in compressor makes a sound you don’t like, a server is crying in the hallway because a table got nasty, a delivery never shows. You learn to keep your voice level, to fix one thing at a time, and to protect your team from the panic of the moment.
Then my dad had a stroke.
I sat in the hospital watching a very different kind of “busy.” It wasn’t loud, and nobody was swearing about the POS system. It was quiet and constant. A nurse came in and out of his room so many times I lost track—checking his swallow, moving his arm into a safer position, asking him the same questions in the same patient tone even when he snapped back. When my dad tried to joke his way out of therapy, she didn’t indulge him, but she didn’t shame him either. She just brought it back to the work.
One night, I finally asked her a question I’d been holding: how do you decide what matters when there are ten things that matter? She looked at the monitor for a second and said, “What keeps him safe right now?” Then she went back to what she was doing, like the question was normal.
I went home thinking about that answer. In my job, “what matters” was usually the guest experience, the numbers, the review that could tank your weekend. I knew how to work hard. I didn’t know how to work in a way that felt like it counted.
When my dad was discharged, I took leave from work and became the unofficial coordinator of his days: therapy appointments, medication timing, getting him to eat something besides toast, trying to convince him to use the walker even though he hated it. I was shocked by how much there was to track, and how quickly things fell apart when you missed one step. The first time he got dizzy in the bathroom, I realized how thin the line is between “fine” and “back in the ER.” It wasn’t dramatic. That was the scary part.
After he stabilized, I went back to the restaurant, but I couldn’t unsee what I’d seen. I started volunteering at a senior center on my mornings off, mostly doing what they needed—setting up chairs, escorting people to flu-shot clinics, helping with paperwork. Over time, the staff let me assist with basic tasks: taking weights, sanitizing equipment, learning how to speak clearly to someone who was hard of hearing without sounding like I was talking to a child. I liked the pace. I liked the fact that you couldn’t “sell” your way out of a problem. You had to do the work right, and you had to be steady.
I also noticed something else: I wasn’t the only person trying to translate health care into real life. People asked the same questions over and over. What do I take with food? What happens if I miss a dose? Is it normal to feel this tired? Sometimes they were embarrassed to ask. Sometimes they were angry because they were scared. It reminded me of the restaurant in one specific way: people aren’t at their best when they feel powerless. What you do with that matters.
I’m applying to nursing school because I want to be trained for that kind of responsibility. I want to understand the “why” behind what I’m seeing, not just follow instructions. I want to be useful when someone’s situation is complicated and messy and they’re trying to hold it together.
I don’t pretend that nursing is the same as my previous work. But I know what it’s like to show up for a long shift, move quickly without cutting corners, communicate clearly when something is going wrong, and keep your team functioning. I’ve learned how to stay calm while everyone else is watching your face. I’ve also learned, through my dad, how much dignity matters to someone who suddenly needs help with things they used to do alone.
I’m not looking for a fresh start because I’m bored. I’m looking for work where being competent has real weight. Nursing is that. I’m ready for the training and the standards, and I’m ready to begin at the bottom and earn my way up.
5 reasons this essay is effective
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It opens with a believable, specific background and a concrete turning point (stroke) without melodrama.
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It shows transferable skills (calm under pressure, prioritizing, teamwork) through lived situations, not claims.
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It includes “earned” exposure to care settings (family caregiving + volunteering) rather than a sudden pivot.
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The voice sounds human: small details, a few rough edges, no grand declarations.
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It explains motivation as a sustained shift in values, not a single inspirational moment.
3) CNA → RN
My first week as a CNA, I went home and took a shower that felt like it lasted an hour. Not because I was dirty—because my brain wouldn’t stop replaying the day. I’d spent eight hours in motion: turning patients, helping with toileting, changing linens, catching call lights, cleaning equipment, taking vitals, trying to remember who preferred their water with ice and who couldn’t have thin liquids. I was physically exhausted, but what stuck with me was how personal the work was. You can’t hide behind a polite smile when you’re helping someone stand up for the first time after surgery. They can feel whether you’re rushed. They can feel whether you respect them.
I chose to become a CNA because I didn’t want a romantic idea of nursing. I wanted to see the day-to-day reality up close. I got what I asked for. I also found something I didn’t expect: I’m good at this work, and I want more responsibility than my current role allows.
I love the parts of my job that don’t show up on a task list. The moment you catch a patient’s change in mood before their vitals change. The way someone who has been “difficult” all day becomes calmer when you stop trying to convince them and just explain what you’re doing. The quiet gratitude in a room after you’ve helped someone feel clean and comfortable again.
I also see the limits of what I can do. On our floor, I often spend more time with patients than anyone else. I hear the worries they don’t say during rounds. I notice when someone’s breathing sounds different from last shift, or when a patient who usually eats everything suddenly pushes the tray away. I can report what I see, and I do. But I want the clinical training to connect those observations to decisions. I want to be part of the plan, not just the messenger.
There’s a particular night I think about a lot. I was working evenings when one of my patients, an older man recovering from pneumonia, started acting “off.” Not a dramatic change—just restless, sweating, asking the same question repeatedly. His oxygen saturation wasn’t terrible, but it was trending down. I notified the RN, who came in immediately, listened to his lungs, checked his work of breathing, and called the provider. She adjusted oxygen, initiated protocols, and stayed in the room long enough to settle him. Later, she explained what she was watching for and why the pattern mattered more than any single number. That conversation made something click for me. I want that depth of understanding. I want to carry that responsibility.
Being a CNA has also shown me what kind of nurse I want to become. The nurses I admire don’t treat CNAs like extra hands; they treat us like teammates. They ask, “What did you notice?” They include us in briefings. They explain, even when they’re busy. On the other side, I’ve seen how quickly a unit feels unsafe when communication breaks down. I’ve learned to speak up early and clearly, and I’ve learned that “I’m not sure” is a valid and sometimes important thing to say.
I’m applying to your nursing program because I’m ready to move from providing essential daily care to managing care with a wider scope: administering medications, performing assessments, educating patients, coordinating discharges, and advocating with the authority that comes with licensure. I want to bring what I already know—how to be present with patients, how to work hard without complaining, how to notice small changes, how to keep dignity at the center—into a role where I can do more with what I see.
I’m realistic about the next step. Nursing school will demand more from me academically and emotionally than my CNA training did. That’s part of why I’m pursuing it. I’m not chasing a title. I’m chasing competence. I want to be the person who can walk into a room, recognize when something is shifting, and respond with the right actions, not just concern.
When I think about my future, I don’t picture a single specialty yet. I picture a nurse who is reliable on the worst days: someone patients trust, someone new CNAs aren’t afraid to approach, someone who stays curious and doesn’t cut corners. I’m ready to earn that.
5 reasons this essay is effective
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It uses realistic CNA details (call lights, turning, diet restrictions) that read lived-in, not generic.
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It shows growth from observation to clinical reasoning—clear rationale for RN progression.
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It includes a specific patient vignette that illustrates readiness without making the applicant the hero.
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It demonstrates teamwork and communication maturity, which programs value highly.
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The tone is grounded and work-focused, avoiding “inspirational poster” language.
4) Mental health focus
The first time someone told me they were hearing voices, I did the wrong thing: I tried to talk them out of it.
I was volunteering on a crisis text line at the time. I had been trained to assess risk, to reflect feelings, to keep someone engaged long enough to get help. But in that moment, my instincts kicked in and I started typing a version of, “Are you sure?” I thought I was being careful. The person on the other end went quiet for several minutes, and when they finally responded, they wrote: “Everyone does that. That’s why I don’t tell people.”
That exchange stayed with me. It wasn’t a dramatic failure, but it showed me how easy it is to make someone feel alone when they’re already isolated by their symptoms.
I kept volunteering, and I got better. I learned to ask different questions—less about proving what was “real,” more about what was happening and how it was affecting them. I learned to tolerate the discomfort of not fixing the feeling right away. I learned to be direct when it mattered: “Are you thinking about hurting yourself tonight?” I learned that the kindest thing you can do is not always the softest thing. Often it’s clarity, patience, and follow-through.
My interest in mental health isn’t academic for me. My younger sister was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in college. Our family did a lot of things badly at first. We interpreted symptoms as attitude. We argued. We tried to reason her into stability. When she was hospitalized, I remember how the staff spoke to her. Some of them sounded like they were talking to a problem. Others spoke to her like she was a person who was scared and exhausted. The difference mattered. She still talks about which nurses treated her with respect.
Watching her navigate medication changes, side effects, and stigma made me pay attention to the gaps in care. There was the inpatient world, which was structured and safe, and then there was life afterward—appointments weeks out, insurance calls, forms, pharmacies, a return to classes that didn’t pause for mood episodes. The hardest part wasn’t the diagnosis. It was the friction of getting consistent help.
I’m applying to nursing school because I want to be part of closing that gap. I’m drawn to psychiatric nursing specifically because it sits at the intersection of medical knowledge and human behavior. It asks you to understand the body—medications, sleep, appetite, substance use, pain—and also to understand the person in front of you, including the stories they tell themselves about what they deserve.
I’ve spent the last two years working as a behavioral health tech on an inpatient unit while completing prerequisites. That job has taught me humility. I’ve been swung at. I’ve been cursed out. I’ve also been told, quietly, “Thank you for staying.” I’ve learned to set boundaries without escalating, to de-escalate without being patronizing, and to see the fear behind the anger more often than not. I’ve learned to document carefully and to communicate changes quickly. I’ve learned that safety isn’t a vibe; it’s procedures, consistency, and a team that trusts each other.
What I want now is the education and scope to do more than support the environment. I want to understand medications at a level where I can monitor effects, notice early warning signs, and educate patients and families in a way that actually sticks. I want assessment skills that help me differentiate between delirium, psychosis, withdrawal, trauma responses, and medical issues that can masquerade as psychiatric symptoms. I want to be able to advocate in a medical setting where mental health concerns are still sometimes treated as secondary.
My goal is to work in psychiatric nursing with a strong foundation in whole-person care. I care about stabilizing acute crises, but I also care about the practical, ordinary parts of life afterward: keeping appointments, sleeping, eating, sticking with treatment, rebuilding relationships, finding work, staying sober. I want to help patients leave the unit with something sturdier than “good luck.”
The experience that started this—one text conversation where I got it wrong—was useful because it taught me what doesn’t help. People don’t come to mental health care because they want a lecture. They come because their internal experience has become unmanageable. They need someone who can stay present, take them seriously, and make competent decisions. That’s the kind of nurse I want to become.
5 reasons this essay is effective
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It includes an early mistake and learning curve, which feels honest and mature.
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It demonstrates sustained commitment (crisis line → tech role → prerequisites), not a sudden interest.
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It shows understanding of psychiatric nursing’s clinical demands (differential issues, meds, safety).
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It avoids clichés by focusing on the “aftercare friction” patients actually face.
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The voice is specific and restrained; it respects the subject without turning it into a speech.
5) Pediatrics
My nephew hates stethoscopes. He’s three, and the moment he sees one, he clamps his mouth shut and folds his arms like a tiny union rep. The first time I took him to an appointment after he’d had a bad bout of asthma, I watched the nurse handle him in a way I didn’t know was possible. She didn’t bargain. She didn’t bribe. She didn’t talk over him. She crouched down to his level and said, “You’re in charge of your body. I’m going to tell you what I need to do, and you can tell me when you’re ready.”
He still resisted, of course. But the resistance softened. He offered one lung at a time. He chose the sticker before the exam was over. When we left, he was proud instead of ashamed.
That moment helped me name what I’m drawn to in pediatrics: the mix of skill and patience, the ability to earn cooperation without force, and the fact that you’re caring for an entire family system, not just one patient.
I’ve always been comfortable with kids. In college I worked in after-school programs and summer camps, and I’ve spent the last few years as a medical assistant in a pediatric clinic while completing my prerequisites. I’m applying to nursing school because I want deeper clinical training and a role where I can do more than room patients and take vitals. I want to be able to assess, educate, anticipate, and advocate—especially for children who can’t always explain what’s wrong.
In our clinic, I’ve seen the range of what “peds” means. It’s well-child checks and vaccines, yes, but it’s also parents who are terrified because their baby isn’t gaining weight, teenagers who won’t make eye contact, and children with chronic conditions who are basically experts in their own bodies. It’s also the practical problem of time: families come in late, parents are exhausted, kids are scared, and the schedule doesn’t care. On the best days, you still have to choose what to prioritize.
I’ve learned that small choices change the whole visit. A child who refuses a blood pressure cuff might accept it if you let them try it on a stuffed animal first. A parent who seems “difficult” might relax if you explain what you’re doing before you touch their child. A teenager who doesn’t talk might answer questions if you ask them while you’re washing your hands, not while staring at them across the room. None of that is magic. It’s paying attention.
I’m also aware that pediatrics can turn quickly. The child who looks okay can decompensate. The fever that’s probably viral is sometimes not. The job requires comfort with uncertainty and the discipline to take concerns seriously without feeding panic. I want training that makes me better at that—understanding pediatric assessment, recognizing red flags, communicating with providers, and educating parents in language that helps them make good decisions at home.
One experience that pushed me toward nursing happened during a flu season clinic day. We were short-staffed, and the waiting room was packed. A mother came in with her infant who had been coughing all night. The baby’s oxygen saturation read low, then normal, then low again. The RN on duty didn’t dismiss it as a machine error. She checked positioning, rechecked manually, assessed work of breathing, and moved them to a room immediately. Watching her, I saw how pediatric nursing combines vigilance with calm. She reassured the mother without promising what she couldn’t promise. She explained each step. She kept the rest of us focused.
I want that competence. I also want the privilege of being part of a child’s early experiences with health care. Kids remember how you make them feel. I’ve watched patients come back and hug the nurse who once helped them through a scary vaccine. I’ve watched children who were initially terrified grow more confident because someone took their fear seriously.
In nursing school, I plan to build broad clinical skills, but I know where my motivation is strongest. I want to work with children and families, especially in outpatient pediatrics or pediatric acute care, where education and early intervention can prevent crises. I’m applying because I’m ready for the responsibility that comes with caring for patients who can’t always advocate for themselves. I want to be someone who notices, explains, and stays steady—at eye level.
5 reasons this essay is effective
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It shows pediatric “voice” through a specific, believable interaction (stethoscope + autonomy).
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It reflects real clinic dynamics (time pressure, parent anxiety, red flags) without exaggeration.
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It demonstrates practical pediatric techniques (stuffed-animal modeling, positioning, communication).
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It links motivation to observed nursing decision-making, not just liking kids.
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The tone is warm but grounded in clinical seriousness.
6) Low GPA / redemption narrative
My transcript doesn’t tell the full story, but it does tell an important part of it: I wasn’t ready when I started.
I entered college at eighteen with a vague plan and a lot of confidence I hadn’t earned. I worked part-time, went to class when it felt urgent, and told myself I was “figuring it out.” My grades reflected that. I also made choices that look worse in hindsight because they were avoidable. I withdrew from courses instead of asking for help. I retook classes without changing how I studied. I treated deadlines like suggestions.
I don’t have a dramatic excuse for those years. What I have is a clear understanding of what changed.
Two things forced me to grow up. First, I started working full-time. Not the kind of job where you can drift; the kind where if you show up unprepared, people notice immediately and you pay for it. I learned to plan my week, to track details, to be accountable. Second, my grandmother moved in with us after a fall, and I became one of her caregivers. That was the first time I had to manage someone else’s needs consistently—medications, meals, mobility, appointments—without being asked. The work was repetitive and sometimes frustrating, but it wasn’t optional. It made me reliable in a way I hadn’t been.
When I returned to school to complete prerequisites for nursing, I approached it like a different person. I enrolled part-time at first so I could keep working, and I built a routine that didn’t depend on motivation. I went to office hours before I was confused. I made study guides weekly, not the night before exams. I formed a small study group, and I learned that explaining concepts out loud is not a bonus—it’s a test of whether you actually understand them. I also learned how to handle anxiety without letting it push me into avoidance. If I didn’t understand something, I wrote down exactly what I didn’t understand and brought that to tutoring or office hours. I stopped pretending.
The result is an upward trend that I’m proud of because it was earned. In the past two years, I’ve earned A’s in Anatomy and Physiology, Microbiology, and Statistics while working. Those classes weren’t easy for me. I made them manageable by changing how I work.
I’m applying to nursing school because the more time I spent in health care, the clearer my direction became. While completing prerequisites, I worked as a unit clerk on a med-surg floor. I chose that role because I wanted to be in the environment every day. I’ve watched nurses juggle admissions, discharges, confused patients, family questions, med passes, and documentation while still catching subtle changes that keep people safe. I’ve seen how the best nurses communicate—briefly, clearly, without ego—especially when they’re tired. I’ve also seen how important it is to be the kind of person your team can trust. That’s the standard I want to meet.
I’m not asking you to ignore my early academic record. I’m asking you to interpret it accurately. Those grades reflect a period when I lacked discipline and didn’t know how to learn well. My recent work reflects who I am now: someone who shows up consistently, uses resources, asks questions early, and can handle a heavy workload without falling apart.
Nursing school will be harder than my prerequisites. I know that. That’s part of why I want it. I’m ready to be challenged in a structured environment with high expectations. I’m also realistic about what I still need to work on. I tend to want to do everything myself, and I’ve had to learn to rely on teams. Health care doesn’t allow lone wolves. I’m practicing that now by being intentional about communication and by asking for feedback instead of assuming I know how I’m doing.
What draws me to nursing is not a vague desire to “help.” It’s the combination of science, responsibility, and human contact. I want a role where competence matters, where you can earn trust through your actions, and where you can make a concrete difference on an ordinary Tuesday.
My early transcript shows someone who wasn’t ready. My recent record shows someone who is.
5 reasons this essay is effective
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It owns the low GPA without blaming others, which reads credible.
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It shows a concrete behavioral change (office hours, weekly study system, part-time load strategy).
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It offers measurable academic evidence (specific prereqs) without sounding like a résumé dump.
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It ties academic growth to real-world responsibility (work + caregiving), not motivation slogans.
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It anticipates admissions concerns (rigor, teamwork) and addresses them directly.
7) Veteran
I joined the Army at nineteen because I wanted structure and a challenge. I got both. What I didn’t expect was how much I would learn about care—real care, the kind that happens when someone is tired, hurt, embarrassed, or trying to act tougher than they feel.
I was not a medic. I was in logistics, the unglamorous work that makes everything else possible. We tracked supplies, moved equipment, planned routes, and solved problems that didn’t announce themselves until they were already problems. On deployment, I took Combat Lifesaver training because it was encouraged and because I didn’t want to be the person who froze if someone went down. The training was intense and practical. It also changed how I see responsibility. You can’t debate your way out of a bleeding wound. You do what you’ve been trained to do, and you do it fast.
I used those skills more than once, mostly in small ways: stabilizing someone until the medic arrived, recognizing heat injury early, helping a soldier who collapsed during a ruck march. None of this makes me special. It makes me familiar with the fact that bodies fail in predictable ways, and that calm competence matters when they do.
When I left the service, I thought I would stay in logistics. It made sense on paper. But I kept getting pulled toward the moments that weren’t about inventory. It was the times I’d been asked to sit with someone who was shaken up after an accident. The times a soldier quietly asked for help because they didn’t want their squad to know they were struggling. The times the medic explained what he was looking for and why, and I realized I cared about understanding the human side of the mission as much as the mission itself.
That interest became clearer when my wife had a complicated delivery with our first child. Watching nurses manage her pain, monitor the baby, communicate with the physician, and still make room for my wife’s fear was one of the most competent things I’ve seen. They weren’t just “nice.” They were decisive and calm. They explained what they were doing and didn’t sugarcoat the parts that were hard. When something changed quickly, they didn’t panic, and they didn’t shut us out. They brought us along as much as they could.
After that experience, I enrolled in prerequisites and started working as a patient transporter at a hospital. Again, I picked a role that would put me in the building every day. Transport is a good education if you pay attention. You move patients who are scared, sedated, in pain, confused, angry, relieved. You hear families ask the same questions in hallways. You see what good handoffs look like and what happens when they’re sloppy. You learn how important it is to treat a person like a person even when you’re moving fast.
Over time, I realized I didn’t want to stay on the edges of clinical care. I want to be trained to assess, intervene, and educate. I want the responsibility that comes with nursing. I also know the kind of teammate I am when things get stressful: I don’t disappear, and I don’t add drama. The military trained me to follow procedures, communicate clearly, and keep going when the day is long. Those habits translate well to health care, but they aren’t enough by themselves. Nursing requires judgment, knowledge, and a different kind of leadership—one that centers the patient instead of the mission.
I’m applying to nursing school because I’m ready to earn that. I’m drawn to the wide scope of nursing because I don’t want my career narrowed to one kind of moment. I’m interested in med-surg as a strong foundation, and I’m open to eventually working in the VA system, where my background would help me understand the culture and the barriers that veterans face when they seek care. I’ve seen what pride does. I’ve seen what it costs when people wait too long.
What I’m bringing is simple: discipline, respect for training, and a steady temperament. I don’t confuse those traits with competence. Competence is what nursing school is for, and I want that rigor. I’m used to being held to a standard. I want to be held to the standard that keeps patients safe.
5 reasons this essay is effective
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It avoids the “war hero” tone and stays grounded in plausible duties and observations.
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It shows a credible bridge from military habits (procedure, calm) to nursing demands (judgment, patient-centered care).
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It includes exposure to health care post-service (transport role) that demonstrates commitment.
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It acknowledges limits (“not a medic”) which builds trust and avoids over-claiming.
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It suggests a clear direction (strong foundation, possible VA work) without sounding pre-scripted.
Meet Lauren Hammond
Lauren: I earned my Bachelor’s Degree in Literature and Writing, with a concentration in Writing, at California State University San Marcos (CSUSM) and my Master’s Degree in English and Comparative Literature at San Diego State University (SDSU). I recently completed my PhD in English at the University of California Riverside (UCR) in September 2023. Upon graduating, I began my current position as UCR's Graduate Writing Center Specialist and Fulbright Program Advisor last summer.
I have been a writing consultant for nearly 10 years now, and I've helped people with research writing, thesis/dissertation projects, rhetorical and literary analyses, writing in the humanities, grammar/sentence mechanics, and more. My focus for VKTP centers on graduate school application materials– including personal statements, diversity statements, and research statements– as well as job market materials for academic and alt-academic positions– resumes, CVs, cover letters, etc.
During my downtime, I love hanging out with my husband, 2-year-old daughter, and our two dogs, Link and Leia! My favorite activities are going on the boat, cruising on the golf cart, and making our way through all of the local eateries. When we aren’t out and about, I typically enjoy reading and watching movies.
Working with Lauren is $225 per hour or $995 for a package purchase of 5 hours. You can reach her at 951-395-4646 (phone or text), or by sending us an email.
Love For Lauren
Video: 7 Ways to Write a Crappy Graduate School Personal Statement
For more personal statement tips, check out Vince's video: 7 Ways to Write a Crappy Graduate School Personal Statement.
Frequently Asked Questions
We generally recommend about 4-8 weeks - 6 weeks is a good sweet spot. It takes time to come up with ideas and get those ideas onto paper in a compelling form.
Other than Google, I really like the sample admissions essays in Graduate Admissions Essays by Donald Asher. If you're a DIY kind of person, Asher's advice for the entire graduate admissions process is very good.
Note: The above links are Amazon affiliate links and I earn a commission if you purchase things through them. However, any commission I earn comes at no additional cost to you, and you pay nothing extra. My recommendation is based on extensive experience using this book's advice with dozens of people over the years, and I recommend it because it's helpful and useful, not because of the small commission I receive if you choose to buy it.
MOST personal statements are BORING! Not because the person writing them is boring, but perhaps because:
- Their focus is too broad. They try to cover everything they've done, and nothing ends up standing out.
- They're impersonal. It's a personal statement - the reader needs to get a sense of who you are and what you're actually like - not some sanitized "professional" version of you.
- They're too safe. Ironically, a statement that takes no risks can be the riskiest thing you can do. We're not applying to a program with the intent of blending in with all the other applicants!
Granted, the above things can be overdone, or done wrong. But most statements make no impact, so it's worth thinking about how yours actually can.
Securing a spot in a nursing graduate program is akin to preparing for a complex journey in healthcare — it demands academic rigor, practical nursing experience, and a deep commitment to advancing in the field of nursing. Here’s a breakdown of the typical preparation process:
First and foremost, a bachelor’s degree in nursing (BSN) is usually required. This foundational education needs to be solid, as it forms the basis of your advanced nursing studies. Performing well academically in your BSN program is crucial because it demonstrates your ability to handle the rigorous coursework in a graduate program.
Clinical experience is a key component of a nursing graduate application. Working as a Registered Nurse (RN) not only fulfills licensure and experience requirements but also provides real-world insights into patient care, which is invaluable in advanced nursing roles. This experience is essential for developing the clinical judgment and skills necessary for graduate-level nursing studies.
Many nursing graduate programs require applicants to pass the National Council Licensure Examination for Registered Nurses (NCLEX-RN) and hold an active RN license. Some programs may also require additional certifications or experience in specific areas of nursing, depending on the specialization.
The application process often includes submitting a personal statement or essays, alongside letters of recommendation. These essays allow you to articulate your career aspirations, why you’re pursuing a graduate degree in nursing, and how the program aligns with your goals. Choosing recommenders who can attest to your clinical abilities and academic potential in nursing is important.
If the program includes an interview, it’s an opportunity to showcase your communication skills, clinical knowledge, and understanding of advanced nursing practice.
Taking additional steps, such as engaging in nursing research, participating in professional nursing organizations, or pursuing certifications in specialized areas, can strengthen your application.
In summary, gaining admission into a nursing graduate program involves showcasing a strong nursing foundation through academic and clinical experiences, a clear understanding of and commitment to advancing in the field, and the personal and professional qualities needed for higher-level nursing roles. It’s a path for those dedicated to expanding their expertise and leadership in nursing to enhance patient care and healthcare outcomes.
BTW, Lauren can also help with:
- MS in Business Analytics personal statements
- MBA personal statements
- Law School personal statements
- PsyD personal statements
- Physician Assistant personal statements
- Physical Therapy personal statements
- Speech-Language Pathology personal statements
- Occupational Therapy personal statements
- Marriage and Family Therapy personal statements
- Master's degree personal statements
- Master's of Public Policy personal statements
- Medical Residency personal statements
- Nursing school personal statements
- Veterinary School personal statements
- PhD personal statements
- Post Doc personal statements
- Fellowships and Grants personal statements